Normally, I’d probably be on my way to getting shitfaced and sunburned… maybe not quite yet… I’d have waited until the afternoon though.
At least the weather is nice (for now) so I can get on that sunburned part anyway. Get outside and maybe kick a soccer ball around a bit!
There comes a time in every man’s summer where he just needs to get the fuck out of town, go somewhere remote and live like a complete savage for a few days. Eating food cooked over an open fire that he built with his own hands (newspaper and lighter fluid optional), hiking to beautiful natural sights, getting some dirt under his fingernails and maybe, if he’s lucky, taking a shit in the woods.
Yes, I’m talking about camping.
And let me tell you, I’m way past due for a vacation. I’ve been slugging it out at work for about two years with very little extended vacation time taken. Getting iMessages from my friend and former colleague who left the company at the end of June and took all of July off (half of it in his hometown of Kelowna, British Columbia) isn’t helping soothe my itch to commune with nature. I mean, good for him but… hey, what about good for me?
I have a couple of days booked around a weekend in August in which to vacation with a campsite booked in the Western Alberta interior on the peninsula jutting into a lake. It’s actually more of a large reservoir created by the construction of a dam way back in the day but only time will tell if this was a huge mistake or not. Review will be pending.
Last year, we hit up Fish Lake campground on Shunda Lake near Nordegg in September and, if it wouldn’t have been so fucking cold at night… the whole trip would have been glorious. Plus, the dog loved it. We’ll see how this new spot compares.
The Empire celebrated not one but two momentous occasions very recently.
The month of May holds the birthdays of the Prince of Stanley as well as the Prince of Albacore! Not only are they in the same month but they are a mere eight days apart!
As such, these two birthdays were rejoiced and heralded by everyone living within the borders of this great nation. Great feasts were held in their honour with gifts and music.
Many friends of the two princes came to join in the festivities. The Prince of Stanley had a sleepover while the Prince of Albacore opted for a family campout in the backwoods wilderness immediately behind the palace.
All that being said, it was an expensive month to try to balance the budget and maintain the infrastructure while still jubilantly commemorating these events. The best part is that the Queen has a birthday in June while the Duke grows another year older in July. It’s a non-stop cavalcade of birthdays throughout the summer. No wonder we never get anywhere.
The Royal Family is heading out to Capital Ex tomorrow for the celebration of the Duke Of Ginger’s recent ‘coming of age’. The Duke just turned thirteen… meaning he’s graduated to being a teenager now. It should be an absolute smashing time.
They start openly advertising for kegs of beer.
Drinky, drinky!!
Seasonal Attire
I, as the King of the New JeffLand Empire, hereby proclaim that shorts and sandals season has arrived! Wear ye summer finery and applaud the arrival of warm weather!