(Courtesy of The Chive’s Facebook post.)
Tag Archives: Star Wars
The Force Awakens… My Bladder
I hit the theatre last night with my youngest son and we finally watched the most recent instalment of the Star Wars franchise. This will be much to the approval of family and friends who saw the movie weeks ago and have been dying to talk about it while I’m within earshot. There are many conversations to be had about the flick, I’m sure, as the one thing that all members of my family can come together on is our love of Star Wars.
The best part of the movie, for me, was when the end credits began to roll; not because I disliked the movie but, rather, because I had roughly 750 mL of urine squeezed into my 500 mL bladder. And we aren’t talking about the last ten minutes of the movie either. I was on the brink of pissing my pants for nearly an hour.
Once my urinary distress ended (my apologies to the folks I nearly steamrolled over in my mad dash to the men’s washroom) I was able to start mentally processing the movie itself.
This sequel was pretty awesome. JJ Abrams cleansed my Star Wars palette with this movie; taking George Lucas’ last three movies out on a boat, tying them up in a burlap sack with a heavy stone and dropping them in the middle of a lake like a bunch of unwanted kittens. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate the three Lucas prequels but there wasn’t enough redeeming material in them to make me want to watch them any more than once. Combine Hayden Christensen’s portrayal of Anakin Skywalker with the existence of Jar Jar Binks… well, I rest my case.
I will likely go back and see this movie again. Next time, however, I will reduce my fluid intake prior to going to the theatre so that I don’t have to do the seated pee-pee dance to keep my pants dry.
A Tech-Nerd Nightmare
I’m writing this post on my iPhone 6. I bought the 6 unlocked from Apple around a year ago because I had just received a large tax refund from Revenue Canada and I was sick of being locked into one carrier and being told when I would be ‘eligible for an upgrade’ to a new device.
Since the iPhone 6S was released, I’ve been contemplating privately selling this phone and upgrading to an unlocked version of the new model. I figure that it’s probably the best way to get maximum value I can for this device.
This morning, I was using these thoughts as inspiration for the tech horror-show nightmare I woke from. I had either sold this device or traded it in favor of acquiring some kind of new unnamed Apple device (which was about the size a larger paperback novel) and the ‘new’ Apple Hat.
Yes, you read that right. The Apple Hat.
The imaginary ‘Apple Hat’ was a brilliantly bright white hat that somehow wirelessly connected to the archaic, paperback-sized device to function. It looked very much like a stitched baseball cap but with the same brilliantly bright white ear flaps hanging down like a trapper hat. Think of a hip version of the Hoth Rebel Trooper thermal cap from The Empire Strikes Back. Yeah. That is the Apple Hat.
Needless to say, I woke from this nightmare so quickly that my brain couldn’t conjure up some kind of techy functionality for this wearable. I got out of bed so that I wouldn’t fall asleep again and return to the dream.
Indeed.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKH9SlrYp98]
A Captive Audience
The Falcon
Official NJLE Motto
Every country needs a motto. The United States has ‘In God We Trust’ and, so, I’m left to chose a motto for the New JeffLand Empire:
Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Not bad, eh?