Something that I’ve learned about the topic of resolutions/resolving to change yourself is a thing that I already knew and understood but couldn’t truly appreciate until going through this past couple of months. With many people making all kinds of New Year’s resolutions, there is a reason why most of them fail.
By virtue of timing, waiting until one specific day for resolving to change, there is a lack of long-term commitment to the change. But the question is ‘why is there a lack of commitment?’
It’s a matter of really wanting the change… owning the change. During the course of our lives, when we recognize a behaviour we have that needs to change, it can be difficult to put priority on it. Odds are, it’s something that we like/enjoy doing but also has a negative aspect to it that detracts from that enjoyment. There is a feeling that we should change our behaviour to eliminate this negative aspect however we don’t really want to change. As a result, the resolution is a half-hearted effort.
This notion that we should change is often due to external pressure placed upon us. Ownership requires internal pressure to affect long-lasting change and is often what’s lacking in a New Year’s resolution.
Now, when you are talking about substance abuse and addiction… things get a little more complicated in the process of committing to change. Ok, they get a lot more complicated but without a personal commitment and ownership to sobriety, the rate of success drops to nearly zero.
I’m not an expert on addiction or sobriety but I do know that you have to really want it in order to stay sober.