I’m writing this post on my iPhone 6. I bought the 6 unlocked from Apple around a year ago because I had just received a large tax refund from Revenue Canada and I was sick of being locked into one carrier and being told when I would be ‘eligible for an upgrade’ to a new device. 

Since the iPhone 6S was released, I’ve been contemplating privately selling this phone and upgrading to an unlocked version of the new model. I figure that it’s probably the best way to get maximum value I can for this device.

This morning, I was using these thoughts as inspiration for the tech horror-show nightmare I woke from. I had either sold this device or traded it in favor of acquiring some kind of new unnamed Apple device (which was about the size a larger paperback novel) and the ‘new’ Apple Hat. 

Yes, you read that right. The Apple Hat. 

 
The imaginary ‘Apple Hat’ was a brilliantly bright white hat that somehow wirelessly connected to the archaic, paperback-sized device to function. It looked very much like a stitched baseball cap but with the same brilliantly bright white ear flaps hanging down like a trapper hat. Think of a hip version of the Hoth Rebel Trooper thermal cap from The Empire Strikes Back. Yeah. That is the Apple Hat.

Needless to say, I woke from this nightmare so quickly that my brain couldn’t conjure up some kind of techy functionality for this wearable. I got out of bed so that I wouldn’t fall asleep again and return to the dream.