…I just don’t want anyone talking to me while I’m trying to poop. It creeps me the fuck out.

When I enter that stall, I have entered the Cone Of Silence™ and conversation is not only a faux pas but it is a cardinal sin; morally reprehensible behavior that cannot be condoned.

Is it because I’m sitting there with my pants around my ankles and am basically half naked? And that I don’t want another dude talking to me while I’m half naked? No. It’s because pooping is a private activity that I don’t ever want another person to be privy to. Ever.