It’s been a long week… and it’s only Wednesday.
Even though I’m trying to work reduced hours to keep myself from aggravating my shoulder as well as getting too tired, I’m not doing a very good job. My whole arm is aching and, because this brace is supporting the dead weight of my left arm, my upper back is feeling it. I’m guessing that this is what a woman with large breasts deals with on a daily basis.
I’m also completely exhausted by the time I’m leaving despite it being an early quitting time. I’m mentally exhausted, I can’t remember things and I generally am lacking in energy. I mean, I forgot my wallet on my desk when I left. Duh.
But… I digress.
I keep thinking that this ‘quitting drinking’ thing should be harder. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. But there is this part of me that wonders if I’m really an addict? I definitely have a substance abuse problem. Of that fact, I have no doubt… I’m a binge drinker. Addicted? I feel unconvinced right now.
BUT.
With all of that being said, the Self-Evaluation & Support workshop I participated in has taught me the stages of recovery. The “questioning of addiction” definitely falls into the list of problems one might experience somewhere along the line. (Granted, this typically falls into the 121-180 days ‘Adjustment’ time period and I’m only on Day 31 but whatever.)
At 31 days, I’m smack-dab in the middle of the ‘Honeymoon’ stage (15-45 days). Common problems that folks in recovery experience include:
- Reduced craving
- Have energy but little stability
- Scattered activity
- Short attention span
- Unrealistic confidence in their recovery
So maybe I’m displaying that last one more than anything, I can’t say for sure. I think writing about it helps me regardless. And I really mean it because I wrote this whole fucking post typing with one finger. Ugh.
