Well, the year is still 2011 and, yes, this year still sucks. Just in case you weren’t sure.

The segment of my life from January 1st until now has easily been the worst year of my entire life (a trend which, presumably, will continue until December 31st). There been laughter anguish and tears as well as a non-stop cavalcade of misfortune which has challenged my sanity!

“Surely,” you might say, “It can’t be that bad.”

The past nine months has been full of all kinds of misfortune. Sadly, it hasn’t been one of those ‘comedy of errors’ types of misfortune. It’s been ‘I hope this water pipe in the ceiling is sturdy enough to tie a noose to and support my own weight’ kind of misfortune. Even Steven Wright would take one look at me and say, “Whoa. Dude.”

I mean, I could go on and on about the financial assaults from various institutions that have decided to haul off and boot me full-on in the testicles time and time again this year. Or, I could talk about the absolute misery that my career path is bringing me from one day to the next. Or, I could talk about how I haven’t even had sex this year. That’s right. NOT ONCE. And I’m not talking about a “holy shit we got interrupted by the kids”. I haven’t even come close.

Let’s put it this way: I’m the only person that has touched my dick since mid-2010. Now, let that one bounce around in your cranium for a while.

Let me be crystal clear on this issue: anyone who believes in the ‘sanctity of marriage’ is fucking delusional. Or in need of anti-psychotics. Either way, I hate you and I want you to die. Slowly and painfully.

It’s one of those epiphanies where you come home from work and your house looks like an episode of ‘Hoarders’, the dog is humping the shit out of the blanket that your ten year old kid is trying to curl up with and, if you had a molotov cocktail… you might seriously consider lighting it, throwing it into the living room and just walking straight back out to your car to drive away. Not to get too specific or anything. Because an RPG or a simple hand grenade might also do the trick.

Really… with everything that I do and everything that I say, it feels like it’s falling on deaf ears. No one pays attention and no one listens to anything I have to say. It’s pretty much like this blog, actually. Pointless.