Category Archives: Sports

What in the hell was I thinking?

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I am a 40 year old man. I went and signed up to play soccer for a coed recreational league because, well, I want to play instead of just coaching. To be clear, I haven’t played on a team before… I’ve scrimmaged with the kids that I’ve coached but I haven’t been on a team as a player. I know the rules, I understand the game fairly well… I just have no skill and a general lack of fitness.

I got the list of my teammates by email today… I decided to check out who’s who by searching (read: creeping) them on Facebook. What is now freaking me out: I’ll be lucky if even one of them is over the age of 25. So from now until my first game on Monday night:

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Super Bowl Fiddy

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It’s my first time watching the Super Bowl in the United States of America; the hype is real. I don’t want to say that there’s tumbleweeds rolling down the middle of the streets of Honolulu but Americans love their football. 

My God… it’s beautiful. 

But I have just decided that I’m going to live-blog my first American Super Bowl experience. 

1:24 Arrival of the most epic mountain of nachos I’ve seen in a while. 

1:32 Folks behind me just gave Lady Gaga a standing O after her singing of the national anthem. 

1:38 Wayne Gretzky? Canada’s religious idol makes an appearance. 

1:45 McManus scores 3. Willem Defoe in a dress also scores. 

1:55 Broncos offense rumbles out. Doritos commercial slays. 

1:56 Happy Hour countdown begins. 

2:00 Happy Hour begins. 

2:06 I don’t understand what IS and what ISN’T a catch in the NFL. That looked pretty solid to me. 

2:08 Sack. TD Broncos. Wow. 

2:13 Talib is a fucking moron. Haw haw!! First down Panthers. 

2:24 New Bourne movie? Hells to the yeah. 

2:31 Talib is still a moron and Panthers TD. 

2:42 Damarius Thomas’ head flies off after a huge hit… no wait, that’s just the ball. Shit. 

2:48 It’s bizarre that there has NEVER been a punt returned for a TD in the history of the Super Bowl. EVER. That shit happens all the time in the Grey Cup, I think. 

3:10 Ok, I don’t have it in me to live-blog a full game. I’m sure the results will be on the highlights at 11:00. 

The Florida Panthers & Scott Mellanby’s “Rat Trick”

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This is just one of those great hockey stories that the players, the organization and the fans got behind to make history;

As the team prepared for its home opener against the Calgary Flames on October 8, 1995, a rat entered the dressing room, startling several players. Scott Mellanby reacted by shooting the rat across the locker room with his stick, killing it. He then went out and scored two goals in a 4–3 victory over the Flames, leading the Panthers to their first win of the season. Vanbiesbrouck described the incident to reporters after the game, stating that while Mellanby failed to score a hat trick, he did manage a “rat trick”.

My Experiment With Facial Hair

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 Beards, motherfucker!I’m trying to derive the borderline between what classifies as a ‘bad’ beard and what classifies as a ‘fucking brutally terrible’ beard.

Just to be clear; after 3 ½ weeks without touching a razor to my face, I’m not having great results. This is the furthest I’ve ever gone with growing a beard and I don’t think mine is freakishly patchy. That being said, the hair from my ear to my chin, including my cheeks and jaw-line are a touch on the sparse side. I mean, I’ve got rookie year Sidney Crosby beat all to Hell.*barf*But the real issue I have is with respect to the aforementioned fullness of my facial hair. The experiment isn’t exactly scientific in nature. I think the decision making process is based on criteria that is more qualitative than quantitative but still requires data collection from various, independent sources. 

While I’m not ready to fully reveal my findings yet, I have explained my facial hair growth to people in a few different ways. 

  1. The first explanation is to completely confess to the experiment. That I recognize I’m folliclely challenged and that I’m doing this for the betterment of mankind. 
  2. My second explanation is that I’m trying to grow a turbo-sad beard to make other men feel more secure and confident about their own beards. 
  3. The third explanation is that I’m getting an early start on my Edmonton Oilers playoff beard… for next season.

I have to return to work on Monday of next week so I have to bring this experiment to a conclusion by then and decide on whether I should go into the office with facial hair and, if so, to what degree?

The things I do for science. Sheesh. 

Insects Helping Columbia

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James

Columbia’s James Rodriguez during the semi-final of the 2014 FIFA World Cup.

I don’t know if anyone here has been following the FIFA World Cup but the quarter final game of Brazil vs Columbia was one heck of a match for more reasons than the obvious.

World Cup goal scoring leader, Columbia’s James (pronounced Hamez) Rodriguez is about to take a penalty kick, closing in on the end of the game while Columbia is down 2-0. Suddenly, this happened and Twitter almost blew up. Personally, I didn’t even see it when it happened… as I was checking in late in the game.

But it’s really too bad that the insect had to fly away. Maybe he could have guided James to another goal to tie the game instead of losing to Brazil.