Category Archives: Cerebrum

Alas, I Am Alone

For some reason, it feels more intimate to write a post on my phone than it does on my laptop. When I sit down at my laptop to write now, I feel like I need to write some kind of an epic post. Something either smart or funny or insightful… but not something sort of informal and off-the-cuff.

Stupid, I know.

I have a bizarre relationship with the written word write now when combined with public access and my own honesty. I got burned, so… once bitten, twice shy. And the bite changed me forever and stole something that I used to love so much. The ability to openly write without fear of repercussion.

Embrace The Suck

So I know that I need to update this more frequently. I have things that I can share. And share I will.

I put in an application for a new job this afternoon. I’m excited about it because it isn’t the chaos and insanity of my current job. I don’t mind my job; often my job is very interesting. However, I’ve grown to hate our client and that is probably not the best feeling to have when you ONLY have one client. And it is taking a personal toll, so I think I need to move on.

Can I put in an online application for a new spouse somewhere? Because I think I need one of those too. YEAH, DIVORCE MOTHERFUCKER!!

In other news, I’m sick of having to trim my nails. I’m not saying that I want to grow my nails long to defy gender stereotypes… I like having short nails. I just hate having to do the upkeep to keep them short. Constantly, I have to clip all ten of my fingers and all ten of my toes and it is a pain in the ass. (Now, I just re-read that and I think I may be admitting I’m super lazy. I’m not sure.) Maybe part of that pain in the ass that bothers me most is the hunt to find the goddamn nail clippers. Maybe.

Back to work for a second; I have to work tomorrow morning… pull some overtime. And I’m going to end up missing Man U beating the shit out of Swansea… kick off at 8:00am local time. And Arsenal kicking the shit out of Crystal Palace… at 8:00am again. And Chelsea pumping Burnley like they were the prom queen in the back seat of a rusted-out Trans Am. Just at 8:00am and in England. With bad teeth. And maybe in the ass.

 

Nothing But Questions

I feel a need; a need deep inside my heart and soul. It’s something that I can’t necessarily explain off the top of my head however I know that it’s there. It’s black and it’s hollow and it’s vacuous. And it’s inside of me.

What is this? Is it something that I’ve been missing since childhood? Or is it something that has eaten me up in the past decade since I’ve been with HER? I don’t even know who I used to be before I met the BITCH. Then again, was I a man ever worth knowing back then? I really couldn’t say.

And… why can’t I remember? There are so many things that I don’t remember. Is it because I can’t remember or I’m trying hard not to remember? I wish I knew.

 

…Like A Phoenix From The Ashes

Ashes a mile deep, choking me on my way to the surface. My fist plunges through the mountain of burnt rubble. I struggle. I thrash about, desperate for air. Everything is blackness; I can’t see and I can’t breathe. My lungs are burning. They have felt this way for years as I’ve tried swimming my way through the dark, smoky madness. I want to reach the surface but I’m unsure as to whether the air will save me or be the nail that is driven into my coffin.

Let this unfold here. Now.