Author Archives: El Jefe

NJLE Site… Moving To iWeb?

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iWeb icon

iWeb from Apple's iLife suite

I’ve been a long-time fan of WordPress as a blogging platform, dating back to what seems like the dawn of time.  While I wouldn’t say that I’m a heavy user that’s familiar with every facet of it, WordPress is very familiar to me.

The list of features is quite long and can be tweaked in an endless variety of different ways and being that I’m a big fan of customization, WordPress is a dream.

On the other hand, I’m also a big Apple/Mac fan(atic) and love to try to get everything I can out of my Mac.  Having MobileMe built right into the Mac OSX install, there is a lot of great integration between different applications in the iLife suite and, for many of them, having a MobileMe subscription is what gels it all together.

So I’ve been really, really wanting to be able to make services like MobileMe and iWeb work.  I really have.  I really want to be able to use them.

I guess there’s probably a longer, more in-depth post that needs to appear about this topic but, for now, I’ll have to leave it at this: until Apple decides they really want to compete with Google… MobileMe is a gigantic waste of money and resources.  Hence, I really doubt that I’ll end up ponying up some of my hard earned coin to utilize their services.

Hence, NJLE is staying exactly where it is.  Here.  In WordPress.

JeffLand's Most Wanted

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Much like the United States’ Federal Bureau of Investigation has their Most Wanted List of criminals, the New JeffLand Empire also has its own list of ‘Most Wanted; which is a list of people that desperately need to be brought to justice for their crimes.

Sadly, no criminals sought by the New JeffLand Empire have actually faced trial in what some would call our ‘kangaroo court’. (And trust me, there are no kangaroos in our courtroom. A naked midget with a fanny pack? Maybe. A Shih Tzu with a scratching problem? Definitely.) Despite this, we are confident that we can do our part for the global community to make this planet a better place to live in for everyone through the decisive use of swift-handed guilty verdicts and unnecessarily violent and painful sentences.

The NJLE’s Most Wanted List can be found as a page accessible from the menu of the site but for a direct link, click here.  This list is only a start and will be periodically updated as circumstances require.

Review: Iron Man 2

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Iron Man

Hell yeah.

Summer blockbuster.  Explosions.  Awesome special effects.  Fights, chase scenes, a rock star superhero… what else do you need?  Where it may be weaker in plot than the first Iron Man… let’s take a look at the big picture, shall we?

This is a movie based on a comic book.  A comic book, folks.  This isn’t going to be Schindler’s List, people… ok?  You pretty much know what you’re going to get even before you step in line to buy a ticket… an action packed thrill ride of high tech body suits and superhero mega-coolness.

This is a fun movie that has Robert Downey Jr reprising his role as Tony Stark, acting pretty much the exact way we would probably expect for him to act in real life, just with a multi-million dollar battle suit.  The NJLE gives Iron Man 2 a two thumbs up and a fist pound just for good measure.

Justice Is A Dish Best Served Warm… With Ice Cream

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Every nation needs to have a constitution and JeffLand is no exception. Without getting into the specifics of the NJLE constitution, there is a clause directed towards the theft and consumption of another man’s pie. It reads, and I quote:

No person shall […] be deprived of life, liberty, or pie, without due process of law; nor shall private pie be taken for public consumption, without just compensation.

Now, I bought an apple pie with the youngest Prince over the weekend and we consumed part of it; leaving the remainder of it for my own ‘personal’ use (and for those of you thinking of THAT pie scene in the movie American Pie… get your heads out of the #%$@ing gutter) during the coming work week.

Without naming names, someone consumed the last of my pie before I could even contemplate taking it to work with me.  He was even ballsy enough to do it right in front of me, necessitating me to take this picture as photographic evidence of this crime.

pie thief

Guilty, guilty, guilty.

Obviously, a crime like this cannot go unpunished.  And since my word is law and I am well within my rights, as King, to dole out a swift and merciless punishment against whomever I choose; let it be known from this day forth that the theft of Royal Pie shall be a capital offense, one punishable by death.

Now, whomever it was that ate the Royal Pie, should be lead to the gas chambers* and executed.  However, taking into account that the guilty person is a ginger… I’ve decided that it will be a far more harsh sentence to let the boy live than to put him out of his misery.  Judgment has been passed.

*Note: The NJLE gas chambers consist of having to sit in a confined space with me for two hours after I’ve eaten cabbage, beans and broccoli.

Momma’s Boy (Life Achievement)

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A colleague and I had previously discussed the idea of being able to integrate the XBox gaming perspective of gaming ‘Achievements’ into real-life.  How you could do this… I have no idea but I’ve decided that here, on the NJLE site, that I am going to try and capture these moments when I can.

Today is Mother’s Day.  For people who are of age to have moved out of their parent’s house, it’s customary to at least call your mother on the telephone.

I called my Mom this morning, shortly after waking up and getting my coffee (I mean, one must have their priorities in order!) to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.  We chatted for a bit when my Grandmother had come through the door at my parents’ house, so I chatted with her too.  Before hanging up, my Mom mentioned that I was the first child to call her that morning.

MW2 Momma's Boy

MW2 Mother's Day title

Now, I’m going beyond XBox Achievements to make up a specific Modern Warfare 2 title/callsign to recognize my accomplishment of calling Mom on Mother’s Day before both of my siblings.  And considering I talked to my Grandma at the same time, I think I also earned double XP for that move and get to be “Son Of The Year”.

Until next year, suckas!!

The Million Dollar Favor

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The Queen’s work schedule tends to be a bit spotty, with her working two part time jobs. On Monday and Tuesday, she works a retail job and on Friday night and Saturday night she is a waitress at a local restaurant. As such, Tuesday becomes her Friday and she will sometimes cut loose and consume a few barley pops.

Unfortunately, her Saturday morning is the rest of the world’s Wednesday morning and life generally goes on. The Queen’s alcohol tolerance isn’t really called into question however the aftermath of her having even a couple of drinks is usually nothing less than utter devastation for her. To say that she’s hungover and in rough shape is understating the obvious.

Anyway, yesterday proved to be an exceptionally suckish day for the Queen and she was raring to cut loose. Last night, she cut loose and consumed a few drinks before deciding to check out the nightlife with the Queen of JeffLand’s neighbouring country to the east, Abramistan.  This could only mean one thing: shit was gonna get ugly.

The Queen stumbled into the palace somewhere between 3:00 am and 4:00 am, completely annihilated.  I have no idea how much she had to drink but I can tell you that she could have been swimming around in a swimming pool full of beer and I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.

So, naturally, when 7:30 am rolled around and the Princes needed to rise for school… she was in no condition to be conscious, never mind getting behind the wheel of a motor vehicle to drive our progeny to their school.

Money Stack

Scrooge McDuck would be proud


After spending some quality time with the royal throne, she stumbled out of the throne room and said:

I’ll pay you a million dollars to drive the kids to school.

Luckily, I had booked the morning off from work to take the NJLE conveyance in for a repair estimate.  The timing was such that I could drop the boys off, pick up a coffee and make it to the body shop with plenty of time to spare.  Plus… a million dollars?  Damn straight.

The transfer of her million dollars from her personal account to the New JeffLand Empire’s coffers went pretty smoothly and the transaction was complete.  Granted, the Jeffback isn’t recognized as legal tender anywhere else in the world and can’t be benchmarked against any other international currency but a million dollars is a million dollars.  Bottom line.

So I drove the boys to school, got the coffee that I so desperately needed and went to get the estimate done.   As it turns out, it’s going to cost about $7,600 to fix my car.  Conveniently, I just came into a cool million dollars to pay for it.  And the auto body shop?  They can keep the change.

NJLE Weather Service

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Of course it's going to rain all weekend.

Of course it's going to rain all weekend.

Bah.  The only good thing about this is that Canadian meteorologists don’t have a clue and this forecast could easily change.  Whenever I get around to forming the NJLE Weather Service, I’m going to hire psychics rather than meteorologists.  I’ll probably stand a better chance at actually getting some decent forecasts.