Author Archives: El Jefe

Rider Pride And The 2010 Grey Cup

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It’s the weekend of the CFL’s 2010 Grey Cup; a rematch of last year’s championship between the Saskatchewan Roughriders and the Montreal Alouettes. This year, the Grey Cup is being played in Edmonton.

Riders

Now, I’ve been in the stands in Commonwealth Stadium when Saskatchewan rolled into town against the Eskimos and the attendance swelled from the average 29,780 to 47,829.  The likeliest scenario is that more than one third of fans in attendance were full of Rider Pride. This meant that over 18,000 Roughrider fans made the pilgrimage from the ‘Old Country’ to Edmonton to watch their football team play.  And this was a regular season game. Picture Edmonton with the Rider Pride rolling into town because of the Grey Cup.

To say it gets crazy when the Saskatchewan Roughriders come to town would be an understatement.

Getting a basic understanding of a Riders fan isn’t difficult; you really need to go no further than the internet.  However, to help out, I’ve chosen several Riders fans photos from a quick search to demonstrate a typical fan to those who may not have ever seen this phenomenon in person.  Besides their fanatical dedication to their team, they are also known for their small town attitudes and are stereotyped as lovers of Pilsner beer.

For real lovers of Old Style Pilsner

To get on with my story, I headed out to a nearby liquor store to grab some beer for the evening and as I pulled into the parking lot, a white crew-cab truck pulled in and parked.  I watched as six large men stepped out of the truck, all of them wearing the emerald green home jersey of the Saskatchewan Roughriders.  I wanted to perform a bit of a social test of the whole ‘Riders fan loves Pilsner’ stereotype for my own interest so I lagged behind a little and observed.

Two of them briefly lingered by the vodka shelf before following the other four guys headed for the beer cooler.  I followed and casually observed them head to the domestic beer section. I was on the other side of the beer cooler mulling over my options at the import beer shelf, keeping one eye on the six Riders fans.

Half of the motley crew left around the same time I did and the other half remained in the beer cooler for a little while longer.  At the end of the day, all six of these Riders fans ended up at the till while I was still there.  Five of the six of them ended up with a box of Pilsner beer with the sixth being the rogue of the bunch and carrying a 24 can box of Wildcat Strong.

So what does this mean?  It’s hard to say, really.

One could also say that five out of six Riders fans prefer Pilsner to Wildcat Strong, however I don’t feel this is truly a scientific conclusion. My main thought revolves around whether a stereotype is actually a stereotype if it’s true.  Because, in this case, I’d say that it is.

It’s My Birthday, We’re Gonna Party

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Yesterday was a milestone day in the New JeffLand Empire; it was my 35th birthday. This occasion happens only once per year so when it does, it’s generally celebrated as a momentous event by all of the citizens of the NJLE. Of course, we’re going to ignore the birthday debacle of 2008 where I spent my birthday alone on the sofa on a Friday night.

Anyway, my birthday was largely spent in relaxed comfort with the royal family in various locales. After the regular sports grind that goes along with weekends, we headed home for a couple of hours rest. Before we could get any festivities on the go, we would have to pick up the Duke.

It had been decided that we would go bowling for my birthday and when we got to the bowling alley, we discovered that there was an hour wait before we would be able to get a lane. Since we had additional things that I wanted to do, we figured it was ok.  We put our name down for a lane and headed out into the mall. I wanted to look at some puppies and, of course, no one had any objections so we went to the pet store located only a short walk from the bowling alley.

We are a dog family and loved oohing and ahhing the furry little pooches behind glass.  (Caveat: all dogs come second in cuteness to our own Sir Rufficus of Endor.) We wished we could take home one of the little gaffers but, alas, they are expensive and simply not in the JeffLand annual budget for 2010.

Platoon Can Still Teach A Lesson

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Charlie Sheen in Platoon

Released to the box office in 1986, this movie is still possibly the best war film ever made, in my opinion.  The harsh reality of the Vietnam war and its horror portrayed in this movie, made me realize at an early age that war is indeed hell and it was something that I didn’t ever want to be a part of.

“I’ll Be In My Office” (Life Achievement)

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In hockey, there is the term ‘hat-trick’ which refers to a player scoring three goals in a single game. The origins of the word can be researched here: Hat-trick (Wikipedia).

Building off of the momentum of one of hockeys most celebrated feats of skill, a new term has arisen called the ‘shat-trick’, which of course refers to someone taking three shits in a single day. Gruesome to some, celebrated by others.

It would be me that would have to take the glory of the shat-trick, elevate its importance and then attribute a Life Achievement to it. So, I unveil the challenge:

I’ll Be In My Office

In order to complete this challenge, you must score a shat-trick in a single shift in your workplace.

And I’m not talking about going and sitting in a stall and squeezing off a few farts that echo off the tile… you have to be legitimately ‘conducting your business’ to complete this challenge.

And as a reward for completing this challenge, in true Modern Warfare 2 fashion, you unlock yourself a title:

For the shat-trick

...and I don't want to be disturbed!

Go Or No-Go?

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It’s a fact that a joke can only be funny when there is someone around to hear it.  Otherwise, there’s just a pathetic loser who’s laughing alone.

And the second part is pretty much what I feel like keeping this site up and running.  A pathetic loser.

That being said, I haven’t really come up with any ideas to try and make this site more interesting and I haven’t started advertising it or making it public.  So perhaps that what I should  be doing.  Do I really feel like having to upkeep this site on a regular basis and sending traffic to it?

This remains to be seen.

The Exit Of The Molars

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"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

For my whole life, my 3rd molars (otherwise known as ‘wisdom teeth’) have been intact within my mouth.  The top teeth had erupted long ago and were impacted, facing outwards.  The bottom teeth were also impacted although they hadn’t really erupted.

They’d been hurting for a while and I was looking at doing some kind of orthodontics so it became time for those excess teeth to come out.

This morning, I finally had those teeth out.  I was put under general anaesthetic and awoke around an hour later less four teeth.  And, wow, that medication was pretty awesome.  But once the anaesthetic wore off and the numbing agent in my mouth started to come out… there was a whole lot of hurt there.

I mean, I’d had surgery there.  Four teeth yanked by whatever means necessary and then my gums, one of the more tender parts of your body, were stitched in four separate spots.  So where there’s hurt, there is guaranteed to be a little swelling.

Or, a lot.

I’d put some ice on my face but there wasn’t anything to keep my face from swelling up and making me look like a chipmunk.  Rather than trying to imitate a rodent, I’ve chosen to mimic Don Corleone.  Poorly.

“Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me.”

I’m hoping that the swelling goes down over the night.  And I’m also hoping that my mouth stops hurting so fucking much because I’m really sick of eating apple sauce and drinking beef broth or bottles of Ensure.  Right now, I’d kill for… well… anything solid.  Mmm… food.