Author Archives: jeepr0ck
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I want to kill myself but I am too much of a coward to actually do it.
How Do You Stay Alive?
Because I’m not sure how or why I do. For the past almost ten years, there has only been one woman in my heart. And to find out that she doesn’t need me? It kills me.
The Art Of Cock Doodles
I can remember myself as an adolescent, growing into a young adult. As a young man under the age of 20, I had a lot going on. I was figuring myself out with brash bravado and various kinds of self-expression. I doubt that I was unique. Pretty much every guy goes through this, I’d imagine.
Now if you are a guy under the age of 20, with almost complete certainty I can say that you probably know at least one guy who is always drawing cocks. And, guys over the age of 20? You can remember that guy. In fact, you’ll never forget him.
When I was in college, the guy who was always drawing dicks became my best friend. I’m keeping his real name to myself but his nickname? His nickname was Woody. Go figure. He didn’t only draw them in his notebooks; he drew them in other people’s notebooks, on desks, on frosted-up winter windows, newspapers… once, he even drew an eight foot long cock on the wall while waiting for our professor to show up and let us into the classroom.
Anyway, it’s very entertaining. I started my own line of drawings since I was brutal at drawing cocks. I drew stick figure sex. All kinds of bizarre scenarios, orgies, gangbangs with elaborate scenes and settings. It was pretty funny, actually. Granted, it was never on the same level as four military cocks raising an American flag on Iwo Jima but it was amusing. For me.
8 Great Hot Dog Topping Ideas | Serious Eats
Ketchup, mustard, relish: classic hot dog toppings, right? Yes, but there are so many more ways to top your perfectly grilled hot dogs. Here are eight awesome topping ideas to try out the next time you grill up some juicy franks.
This is how it is.
I Got A Tent… And Not In My Pants, Either!
There comes a time in every man’s summer where he just needs to get the fuck out of town, go somewhere remote and live like a complete savage for a few days. Eating food cooked over an open fire that he built with his own hands (newspaper and lighter fluid optional), hiking to beautiful natural sights, getting some dirt under his fingernails and maybe, if he’s lucky, taking a shit in the woods.
Yes, I’m talking about camping.
And let me tell you, I’m way past due for a vacation. I’ve been slugging it out at work for about two years with very little extended vacation time taken. Getting iMessages from my friend and former colleague who left the company at the end of June and took all of July off (half of it in his hometown of Kelowna, British Columbia) isn’t helping soothe my itch to commune with nature. I mean, good for him but… hey, what about good for me?
I have a couple of days booked around a weekend in August in which to vacation with a campsite booked in the Western Alberta interior on the peninsula jutting into a lake. It’s actually more of a large reservoir created by the construction of a dam way back in the day but only time will tell if this was a huge mistake or not. Review will be pending.
Last year, we hit up Fish Lake campground on Shunda Lake near Nordegg in September and, if it wouldn’t have been so fucking cold at night… the whole trip would have been glorious. Plus, the dog loved it. We’ll see how this new spot compares.
A Lost Written Address
I recognize that this is a terrible bit of prose however it is a part of me growing up.
From 1995:
Now I shall speak simply
And hope you can hear my call.
It’s from within that I reach
To speak of an emotion that has long since been dormant.
Understanding an origin is of no consequence now
My heart now is a speeding train
And nothing can stop it.
