Author Archives: Distillusions

Nothing But Questions

I feel a need; a need deep inside my heart and soul. It’s something that I can’t necessarily explain off the top of my head however I know that it’s there. It’s black and it’s hollow and it’s vacuous. And it’s inside of me.

What is this? Is it something that I’ve been missing since childhood? Or is it something that has eaten me up in the past decade since I’ve been with HER? I don’t even know who I used to be before I met the BITCH. Then again, was I a man ever worth knowing back then? I really couldn’t say.

And… why can’t I remember? There are so many things that I don’t remember. Is it because I can’t remember or I’m trying hard not to remember? I wish I knew.

 

…Like A Phoenix From The Ashes

Ashes a mile deep, choking me on my way to the surface. My fist plunges through the mountain of burnt rubble. I struggle. I thrash about, desperate for air. Everything is blackness; I can’t see and I can’t breathe. My lungs are burning. They have felt this way for years as I’ve tried swimming my way through the dark, smoky madness. I want to reach the surface but I’m unsure as to whether the air will save me or be the nail that is driven into my coffin.

Let this unfold here. Now.