September 19th. It’s marked in my calendar and I’ve been celebrating it for years now. I am well known amongst my friends for starting to talk like a pirate when I get drunk. To be fair, I break into accents quite often and even moreso if I’ve got a few beers under my belt.

My friend, Trev, emailed me to remind me that TLAPD is coming this Saturday. I replied to this email with:

Yer spewin bilge bout this scallywag fergettin TLAPD, ye best belay that talk! This old coat’s been on th’ account since ye’s were a wee landlubber! By th’ stars, TLAPD be fallin on Saturn’s Day meanin t’is time t’ go ashore, splice he mainbrace and get loaded to th’ gunwales!! Yarrr!!

He could only reply, exasperated, with:

Thordamnit… (He’s of Nordic descent.)

After trading these emails, I felt that I should share this with my girl. And then, this exchange happened:

Her: Holy fuck I wish I had that kind of talent. LOL

Me: And, somehow, I’m not getting paid to do this.

Her: You’re looking for work in the wrong industry. Pirate Porn. You need to look into a career in Pirate Porn.

Me: Yarr!! Ye likes that, ye buxom wench? Ar, t’is me yardarm lass. Be ye ready t’scrape the barnacles from’ me hull? Yarrrrr….

Her: See?!?

Me: LOL I only wish T’would be a salty dog’s dream come true.

So my question NOW is… how do you get into Pirate Porn?