I feel like I’m coming full circle; that I am back where I was roughly eight (?) years ago when I started taking these damn pills.
I’m one misspoken word away from tears, being overwhelmed by my own emotion.
That’s part of my own self-assessment though on my path of recovery. (I don’t think recovery, from a substance abuse perspective is a place that you get to… it’s the road we follow that can show us wonderful things if we let it.)
Maybe I’ll come to the realization that I do, in fact, need the pills. But until that time, I need to get rid of some of my venom to know for sure. Deal with my emotions instead of chemically alter myself so that those emotions don’t find their way to the surface.
Medication adjustment is a rough struggle. Drowning or floating the the surface with all of our insecurities to bare.
I’m sure you are exponentially more aware of yourself today than you were eight years ago. That’s something to be proud of.
I agree with you that there is a lot that I’ve learned and I continue to learn… maybe the medication helps all of that but I have a much detailed post on this subject in the oven.
Great. I look forward to your next post!