This was originally written on March 9, 2008 and was posted at 10:54 pm on that night.
I haven’t been able to decide whether it’s fitting or ironic that I’m sitting on an airplane operated by United Airways. It’s taking me further and further away from the woman I love with every passing second. It’s separating us, rather than uniting us. On the other hand, being able to spend a whole weekend together managed to unite us in ways I didn’t predict. Obviously, I’m torn.
I guess maybe it depends on where I want to place my focus; on the time we spent together or having to leave. While I believe it’s important to take some time to mourn our parting, I prefer to place more of my focus on how our limbs intertwined while naked in bed or her beautiful eyes and sparkling lips or being able to have coffee and talk about literature and our pasts.
We had two days and two nights together. We tried to do everything together; things we had long dreamed of. We showered together, I watched her put on her make up (like I always do), we had breakfast together, we openly kissed and hugged and laughed. To anyone else, we could have been your average married couple on the town. No one would have known the wiser so we took advantage and blatantly stole kisses at every opportunity. I loved waking up at her side, watching her peaceful face lie still against the backdrop of a sheer white curtain in the window. I loved pressing my body against hers as we slept; not having to fear my hands being pushed away or rejected.
And, of course, we made love. At every opportunity we could take, we were undressing each other and pleasuring each other. The room resounded with her moans of pleasure and I grew very familiar with her gritting her teeth and bearing down on my cock. I buried my face in her neck and smelled her perfume, letting it fill my nostrils and intoxicate my mind. I kissed her soft lips and ran my hands over her incredibly soft body.
Coincidentally, Evey’s friends happened to be in the area and we met up with them for dinner and drinks. They all know Evey and her husband very well and they understand, all too well, their situation. It was a little awkward for both of us; two of her worlds were colliding and for me, conversations that involved her husband made me feel invisible or temporary. No one was trying to make me feel this way; in fact they were very understanding and accepting.
I feel really quite sad at pondering Evey’s situation and my role in it. Leaving her today made me feeling like I was throwing her to the wolves to be torn to bits. I know she’s a strong woman however I feel like I can’t just stand by and let this man destroy her. I felt like I was abandoning her.
I know that we will go back to our regular arrangement of phone calls, text messages, chats and camming. We will talk when we can and we will meet when we can. We will take advantage of every free moment and savour the taste of each one. Enjoy the moment; when you aren’t certain when the next moment is going to be, you enjoy each one as they come.