Ball hockey. Over.
Outdoor soccer. Over.
Football. Taking July off.
Oh fuck yes. Now beer me.
July: My Month Off
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Monthly Archives: June 2011
So. Fucking. Close.
Yeah, you heard me bitch. Nuke.
I can’t believe it. I went 38-12 on a match, playing on Storm and got a 24 kill streak… WITH my Tactical Nuke turned ON. Time ran out before I could get the 25th kill and throw it out there.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity-fuck-fuck.
(And, in case you weren’t sure… I’ve never called in a Nuke before. Did I say ‘fuck’? Because I meant, ‘FUUUUUCK’!!)
Vancouver Canucks… FAIL!!!
TIMMMAAAAYYYYY!!
My apologies for making the South Park reference but my boy, Timmy Thomas, almost single handedly won the Stanley Cup for the mother-fucking Boston Bruins. Screw the Great Wall of China… there ain’t NOTHIN’ getting past Tim Thomas!
Oh yeah… Vancouver? Fuck you. Assholes.
PS: I hope the golfing is good. BWAHAHAHA!! Viva Le Oilers!!
A Summer Of Birthdays
The Empire celebrated not one but two momentous occasions very recently.
The month of May holds the birthdays of the Prince of Stanley as well as the Prince of Albacore! Not only are they in the same month but they are a mere eight days apart!
As such, these two birthdays were rejoiced and heralded by everyone living within the borders of this great nation. Great feasts were held in their honour with gifts and music.
Many friends of the two princes came to join in the festivities. The Prince of Stanley had a sleepover while the Prince of Albacore opted for a family campout in the backwoods wilderness immediately behind the palace.
All that being said, it was an expensive month to try to balance the budget and maintain the infrastructure while still jubilantly commemorating these events. The best part is that the Queen has a birthday in June while the Duke grows another year older in July. It’s a non-stop cavalcade of birthdays throughout the summer. No wonder we never get anywhere.