I’m trying to decide on a national sport for the New JeffLand Empire. I have always loved hockey and there are many other citizens of the NJLE that also love hockey. The obvious thing would be to just make hockey the national sport. However, all of the citizens of NJLE are fanatical Skee-Ball fans and, while Skee-Ball may not be an obvious choice for a sport, it may be the most appropriate selection.
Skee-Ball. Close to the heart of the NJLE.
The jury is still out.
Every country needs a motto. The United States has ‘In God We Trust’ and, so, I’m left to chose a motto for the New JeffLand Empire:
Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Not bad, eh?
Die, motherfuckers!!
So I get nightmares that involve the undead… any idea why? Shotgunning Nazi zombies may just be the cause… but it’s also therapy.
Once again, another Friday the 13th has passed and you didn’t get me. Until next time, sucka.
A 'Punchbuggy': the Volkwagen Beetle
There has arisen a crisis in the New JeffLand Empire; a crisis so dire that it has pushed me to lay down some ground rules for the code of conduct during the game of Punchbuggy.
For those who aren’t familiar with the game of Punchbuggy, it’s largely a travel game where participants are on the look out for Volkswagen Beetles. Once one of the players sights one of these cars he is to punch the arm or leg of another player while shouting the word “Punchbuggy”.
However, there are definite problems in JeffLand with the understanding of the basic rules of Punchbuggy. And part of the glory of Punchbuggy lies in its simplicity.
Rule #1: Only one person may call ‘Punchbuggy’ per car sighting.
Rule #2: The ‘Punchbuggy’ caller is entitled to one (1) hit/punch on one other player.
Rule #3: The caller must use their entitled hit/punch as soon as possible. Hits/punches cannot be saved for future use.
That’s it. ‘Punchbuggy’ is really that simple.
There are some, however, who would try to complicate this game by throwing in additional rules and tweaks into it. These additions are NOT part of the game and must be avoided. There are no rules stating that convertible punchbuggies are worth two hits or that the caller is allowed to hit everyone in the group once or even that more than one person can call the same punchbug.
Anything other than the rules prescribed above is a fraud and shall not be observed during normal play.
As well, there would be those who would create their own new game, ad-hoc, that are direct rip-offs of Punchbuggy. Games like ‘PT Bruiser’ or the ‘Focus Poke-us’ game fall into this category and are hereby outlawed. Those caught participating in these rip-off games may be penalized to the full extent of the law and may even be put to death. That’s how seriously the NJLE takes this matter.
Hopefully, the Eskimos can come away win their second win of the season and turn around this train wreck of a season!
