The Queen’s work schedule tends to be a bit spotty, with her working two part time jobs. On Monday and Tuesday, she works a retail job and on Friday night and Saturday night she is a waitress at a local restaurant. As such, Tuesday becomes her Friday and she will sometimes cut loose and consume a few barley pops.

Unfortunately, her Saturday morning is the rest of the world’s Wednesday morning and life generally goes on. The Queen’s alcohol tolerance isn’t really called into question however the aftermath of her having even a couple of drinks is usually nothing less than utter devastation for her. To say that she’s hungover and in rough shape is understating the obvious.

Anyway, yesterday proved to be an exceptionally suckish day for the Queen and she was raring to cut loose. Last night, she cut loose and consumed a few drinks before deciding to check out the nightlife with the Queen of JeffLand’s neighbouring country to the east, Abramistan.  This could only mean one thing: shit was gonna get ugly.

The Queen stumbled into the palace somewhere between 3:00 am and 4:00 am, completely annihilated.  I have no idea how much she had to drink but I can tell you that she could have been swimming around in a swimming pool full of beer and I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.

So, naturally, when 7:30 am rolled around and the Princes needed to rise for school… she was in no condition to be conscious, never mind getting behind the wheel of a motor vehicle to drive our progeny to their school.

After spending some quality time with the royal throne, she stumbled out of the throne room and said:

I’ll pay you a million dollars to drive the kids to school.

Luckily, I had booked the morning off from work to take the NJLE conveyance in for a repair estimate.  The timing was such that I could drop the boys off, pick up a coffee and make it to the body shop with plenty of time to spare.  Plus… a million dollars?  Damn straight.

The transfer of her million dollars from her personal account to the New JeffLand Empire’s coffers went pretty smoothly and the transaction was complete.  Granted, the Jeffback isn’t recognized as legal tender anywhere else in the world and can’t be benchmarked against any other international currency but a million dollars is a million dollars.  Bottom line.

So I drove the boys to school, got the coffee that I so desperately needed and went to get the estimate done.   As it turns out, it’s going to cost about $7,600 to fix my car.  Conveniently, I just came into a cool million dollars to pay for it.  And the auto body shop?  They can keep the change.